I am carrying a weight that isn't mine

Vivi Aguiar • May 2, 2025

These were the words that came out of my mouth when I was asked what I wanted to heal during my first systemic session. I didn't know where they came from - but sitting next to the facilitator, looking at more than 30 people in front of me, that's what I said to begin my first family constellation, over 10 years ago.


I had no idea what was about to unfold. I was a bit nervous and unsure what to expect but I knew I was in a safe space - held by caring energy and surrounded by competent, grounded professionals.


What I did know was that I wanted to move forward. To feel free. To live my life in peace, which up until that point felt like a wonderful dream that I wasn’t sure I could turn to reality.


As the session unfolded, generations of women from my family - represented by others in the group - appeared before me. Their pain, their strength, their suffering became visible.


All these years later, those images remain vivid in my memory. Acknowledging their burden allowed me to release mine, using a fascinating process that didn’t require hours of talk therapy and that was actually quite fun. I walked out of that room lighter, stronger and more alive and before long, internal shifts led to a much more peaceful external reality.

Which possibilities are you willing to see?

By Vivi Aguiar • 9 May 2025
In my twenties, I attended a training designed to develop reflexes, perception, and intuitive ability—but for me, it became an experience of cultivating sensitivity, flexibility, and trust. The training took place on a theatre stage. All participants wore black clothing, no shoes, and we spent much of the time in near-total darkness. The intention was clear: to strip away our reliance on sight and invite us to awaken our other senses. We moved carefully across a crowded stage, navigating without colliding or causing harm—learning to trust our intuition, our bodies, and each other in a space where seeing was no longer an option. Beyond the basic safety guidelines, one instruction stood out: “If you hit, soften.” At first, gentle music set a calm, meditative pace. Movements were slow, cautious, even shy. But as the tempo rose—faster, louder—so did our energy. We began moving quickly in every direction, still blind, still barefoot, navigating a stage full of others doing the same. It felt chaotic, even reckless—like a crowd of people late for something urgent. And yet… it worked. We didn’t crash. We softened. We adapted. We trusted. When we can’t see the way forward, we often freeze or push harder. But sometimes, all we need is to soften, trust, and begin to see—not just with our eyes, but with presence, with feeling, with heart.
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